I am getting more and more convinced that there is a way to combine social media and face-to-face networking to build relationships.

I appreciate, and read regularly, Denise Graveline’s blog “Don’t Get Caught.” At the bottom of one of her blogs she listed her upcoming events. One of them was going to be across the river from me in Portland, Oregon. The conference is not my area of interest, but I got in touch with Denise and asked her if we could connect when she came to the area.

I got a reply shortly after I sent my request. She was working on her schedule. True to her word, she connected with me via email once she had a clearer picture of the conference’s need for her attendance at various events since she was one of the presenters. We agreed on Sunday afternoon and that I would call her in the morning that day to decide when I should pick her up.

Whisked Presenter Away

The conference did a good job of providing attendees access to some of the major “must see” places in Portland. However, I decided coffee was on the schedule and then a walk through our famous “Rose Garden.”

I pulled up in front of the hotel at the agreed upon time. She was waiting for me. We shook hands and the immediate “Like” feeling was there. From the moment I picked her up, there was no silence between the two of us. We shared information about our lives and our work. We had some good laughs over things that we had heard and seen traveling and presenting during our careers.

Conscious of her schedule, I took her back to the hotel after 2.5 hours of non-stop sharing. As I pulled away, I thought, “Dang, I wish she lived in the neighborhood.”

I’ve been saying it from the beginning, there is a way to combine social media and face-to-face networking that strengthens your relationships with people. The key is to ask people to connect with you. Keep your mind open to opportunities to make connecting in person possible.

I am thrilled that Denise and I could get together and from her email, it appears she feels the same way. All I had to do was ask.

Got you in my contact management program, Denise. Next time I am in the Washington D.C. area I will be in touch.

Check out the reviews for my book “Face-To-Face Networking It’s All About Communication” on Amazon.

Recently, I walked out of a presentation near the end. The organizer said, “What did you think?” I didn’t want to get into a long discussion because I knew she had other things to do, so I said, “I learned a lot.” Apparently, I didn’t say it very congruently for she said, “I want to know what you really think about the afternoon presentation?”

I moved to the back of the table, sort of knelt down, smiled and said, “Okay here you go.” It was easy to point out what I liked about it. However, she knew I had a “But” somewhere in the back of my mind. So she asked.

Organizers Need Feedback

Since I know her well, I knew she was very serious about hearing the negatives. What is interesting, the same thing I felt/spotted she did too, with the exception of one. Part of the presentation had many of us pulling out our smartphones for we had heard what she was saying many times before.

Then she turned to me and said, “Kathy, would you send me an email with your thoughts?” I replied, “Of course.” It has been five days, so I sat down and wrote my thoughts to her in a memo this morning. Since I am a speaker, it was interesting exercise for me for I could see how the “holes” (ineffective segments) caused people to quickly lose interest. Great information for me to tuck away in my brain for my future presentations.

My suggestion. When someone asks for your opinion, give it. You might be surprised what you learn while writing down your own thoughts.

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Last week I took a week off and headed to South Carolina to meet my daughter and her family. Since we were in a new area, Kiawah Island, there was plenty to explore. Little time was spent doing my normal social media updates. However, I would like to share with you what learned because I was not updating.

Facebook

I made a decision that I would send updates on this site with factoids that people might not know about the area. Therefore, I was taking pictures and sharing. The picture above is one of “Angel Tree.” It is thought to be 350 years old making it the oldest living tree in the United States.

From the comments I was receiving, I could tell people were reading my updates and following my adventures with my 21-month-old granddaughter. It was fun to share.

LinkedIn

Normally, I go to LinkedIn a couple times of day and post comments. Most often, the comments are reacting to a statement made by an individual from one of my groups. When I discover an interesting article, I post it. Often I will share a face-to-face networking tip.

While I was gone, I did not post comments on LinkedIn. When I returned, I looked at my profile status and noted that people who had viewed my profile fell to less than half of the normal numbers. In the search area, my profile dropped to 1/3 of the normal rate.

Twitter

Normally I post something in the morning or evening. During the day, if I find an unusually interesting article, I will post it to Twitter. Now without a week of posting new comments, I dropped 18 Followers.

There are all kinds of theories about why people unfollow you. So who knows why they stopped following me, but it is a considerable drop from my regular week.

What does this all mean?

It is very clear to me that my effort, probably about an hour a day, is making a difference in the branding of myself and my work in face-to-face networking. Instead of growing visibility, I lost ground in two of three important social media sites that are important to building my business.

I think I gained visibility on Facebook, by choosing to bring people along with me on my journey.

Do I believe face-to-face networking is more effective than social media? Absolutely. Do I believe I have to use social media to network? Absolutely. The trick is making sure that you integrate the two. I’ll be addressing that issue in future blogs.

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We’re all busy. How many more social media sites can we keep updating?

Many of us are tempted to figure out a way to automate our interactions with people to save time and energy. However, there comes a point when excessive automation can drive people away from connecting with you.

LinkedIn Example

A post, in one of the LinkedIn Groups, made a statement: “Join us at ______ and be listed in our directory of speakers.”

I went to the website, checked it out, and then asked a specific question in my reply. “I could not find a listing for someone who speaks on face-to-face networking. Would you check to see if any of your clients speak on that topic?”

A reply comes back, “Kathy, delighted you have checked out our site.” What followed was a long sales pitch about how I could get involved etc.” I read it with interest for surely the answer to my question would be answered.” No, it wasn’t there.

I sent another reply on LinkedIn and asked the same question. This time I got another long email apologizing because they were way behind and thanked me for my patience.
I waited a day and then, low and behold, I got the original email that they had sent out. Again, I asked the same question…..the same emails came back.

Frustration with Automatic Emails

Finally, in desperation, I wrote another email and explained how frustrated I was by their automatic response emails. I wrote, once again: “Would you answer this question that I posed three times?”

No response of any kind. Now tell me, would you work with a company like this? What is even sadder, the person’s name at the bottom of the emails was that of their Communications Director.

Twitter Automatic Responses

Often when I follow someone, I will get a direct message back. Again, nothing personal in the email. Usually something like this “Thanks for following—here’s a link to my ______.” Nope, don’t feel special.

Facebook Fan Page

Finally, please don’t ask me to “Like” your Fan Page if you haven’t put anything on it.

Millions of people have joined the social media bandwagon. Yet, people are forgetting it is the “little things” that mean a great deal when you are building relationships.

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For the first time this year, Easter Sunday, I am sitting out in my sunroom toasty warm and enjoying the sun shining in through the windows. Even if people are not religious, people view this as a time for renewal.

When I woke up this morning, to my ultra clean house and office, my mind wandered to what are the lessons I have learned since January 1, 2012.

This is what I have learned about technology.

• If you want to keep up with changes in our society, you have to keep pushing yourself to learn.

• When it comes to hardware, the actual running of my computer, I call my trusted computer guy after about five attempts to correct it myself.

• If it is a software issue, I type into Google the problem. Often others have had the same problem and they have already solved the issue.

• If it is a new program, I schedule a couple of hours with no distractions so that I can concentrate well.

• If the program is complicated, I write notes to myself so I can go back to them.

•  When a new software program becomes the rage, I strive to I understand them. My current learning curve is being focused on Pinterest, Instagram, and  Google +.

This weekend, I listened to a Webinar that had two prominent social media experts, Guy Kawasaki and Mari Smith, discussing applications they use and why they believe they work. It is interesting, for even though my business is composed of me alone, I was thrilled with how much I have learned on my own. I was able to focus on their more complex answers and walked away with some new tools that will serve me well.

When it comes down to it, there is no magic bullet. You are not going to learn tools by taking a crash course—way too many variables to keep in mind. However, if you keep at it like the tortoise, each day looking at technology as a way to learn something new, you’ll will reap rewards that we don’t even know how they how they will serve you in the future.

Kathy Condon is an Award-winning Author, Executive Coach and Speaker/Trainer on Communication in the Workplace. Sign up for her  Kathy Condon Connects by clicking “like.”

I will try to come.

Through the years, I have noted that when a person says this, you can be pretty sure he or she will not show up at your event. In an effort not to offend you, they say this instead.

Frankly, when I hear this, I mentally say to myself, “She won’t be coming.” Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I am absolutely right. She does not show up.

I hope to come.

Long ago, I learned the term “hope” carries very little energy. My dad would say, “You can hope for something until the cows come home, but unless you take some action, the focus of the hope will not happen.”

Thus, when a person says, “I hope to come,” I have learned the chances of him actually coming are once again very minimal.

Since I am not the only one that has figured this out, “Why do people continue to use these phrases?” Is it our strong wanting to be “liked” that is causing us to use these statements? Yes, I believe that is the reason.  However, let me have you look it another way.

There is no person that can attend all events that take place in our community. You add to these events family obligations and the demands of your career and a 24-hour day is scheduled before you know it.

Wouldn’t it be better to say, “Kathy, I would love to come. However, I am _______ that night.” In other words, say “no” and give the reason. I certainly appreciate the fact that people have obligations and honesty builds trust.

Then imagine my surprise and pleasure IF something happened that enabled you to come to the event.
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Perhaps, I am getting a little overly sensitive. However, it is really starting to bother me that perceived experts on networking are giving out some information that might thwart your networking efforts.

Let me give you two examples of information that I feel does not serve one working his way through the maze of learning how to network.

Give up on Face-to-Face Networking

One late night, while clearing up my in-box, a blog stated, “I do not do face-to-face networking because it is way too slow. Social media is the place to network. It is the place where you should be spending your time.” To say I practically jumped out of the office chair is a very slight exaggeration.

As an early user of social media, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn I can speak with some degree of authority, for I know what social media has or has not done for me. It has connected me with people around the world. I have had email exchanges with some of my connections and a few conversations on the telephone. However, do I know them? Would I recommend people that I have never met or worked with? No.

It takes years to build a reputation of trust. If you are smart, you will not put your reputation on the line for someone you hardly know. At the beginning of any new relationship, you do not know if he is good at what he does for a living. My own guideline to recommend or hire people is that I have to sense they truly enjoy their chosen career. Experience has taught me those that are happy in their careers are, more than likely, great at providing their services.

Social media needs to be a rung of your marketing plan; however, it is only one rung.

When you walk into a networking event have in the forefront of your mind “How can I help a person?”

I never considered that question when walking into a room. Not only do I not know most of the people in the room, I certainly do not know what they need nor do I broach the subject upon our first meeting.

In the forefront of my mind when I walk into a room is “What can I learn?”

The people in the room have stories about their successes and stretches throughout the years. I want to hear their stories. I am not focusing on how I can help them. That comes later as we get to know each other over a cup of coffee.

What questions do you want to ask me about face-to-face networking?

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Here’s an article that recently appeared in the LA Times.

I read the article with interest for a big part of my face-to-face seminars is talking about the use of the contact cards while you are out-and-about. Yes, I said, “While you are out-and-about”, because you are networking the minute you walk out the door.

I talk about how you include contact cards in your handwritten notes. People are trying to convince me younger people feel handwritten notes are old-fashion. However, when you ask them individually, they will break into a big smile and say, “I got a handwritten note once from……..” My research has discovered that there is not a generation that does not appreciate “real mail” in their mailbox.

Smartphones Replacing the Need for Contact Cards

Let me suggest why I believe that it will be a long time before this happens:

• I’ve owned a smartphone for four years. I still have never used it to connect to other people’s information. I considered myself an enlightened Baby boomer for I’m been on social media from the beginning.
• Not all people have smartphones.
• I cannot imagine cultures, such as Japan, replacing this highly honored piece of paper.
• Each time you use your phone to synch with another, you are taking face time away from the individual standing before you.
• Taking pictures of a contact card works, but then you still have to take the picture and enter the information some place.

I am sure I could think of other reasons why I believe the contact card will be here for many years to come. However, I would like your opinion.

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Picture compliments of theCouv.com

I do not believe in the demise of the radio. There are way too many of us commuting. Yes, you have all kinds of gadgets to download information and songs that bring you joy. Yet, there comes a time during a long commute or trip when you turn to the radio for you are ready for a change of pace.

I cannot imagine a household without a radio. Many people turn the radio on and listen to it while they are getting ready for their day to begin. Some employers allow their employees to have a radio on in their workspace.

Why is it good to agree to an Interview?

• It makes you focus on your area of expertise.
• It helps you learn how to come to the point quickly.
• It helps you sharpen your listening skills.
• Through questions, you learn what you can add to your presentations or articles.
• Your expertise can be heard any place in the world.
• Normally the program is taped—ask for a link that you can add to your website.

Will you sell a great deal of books after a radio interview?

I am speaking from my own experience. Even though the interviewer has read my book and raves about the book while interviewing me, I find the number of books purchased after an interview to be very limited.

Perhaps, I haven’t learned the “sell technique”. However, I also know that when I am listening to the radio I, normally, am not near a computer or smartphone so that I go to the website and order something on the spot.

Will I continue doing radio interviews?

Absolutely. Why?

• Interviews are easy to do.
•  I can be at home in my bunny slippers and no one ever knows.
• An interview can be recorded any time of day or night.
• The interaction with the interviewer is a delight and helps build our relationship.
• The public relations done before and after the interview contain my name and a link to my site and often information about my book.

I would be pleased to hear what you believe are disadvantages and advantages of a radio interview?

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This morning I opened up my email. I received a notice that a Direct Message had been sent out from my Twitter account by a Spammer. This time it was advertising health products.

The first step to stopping Spammers.

Change your password immediately on the site where the spam originated.

Twitter Response to Spammers

After some checking, I have found that this how you notify Twitter if you have been spammed.

@spam  The link is @————

I’ve done this and I did get the Spammer blocked.

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